Seriously, people. What is it with bowling? Physical limitations aside, is it really that much fun? You're rolling a giant, heavy ball toward some pins.
There is a big "bowling party" tonight, held by a local professional organization. I said a flat-out "no" to actually participating in this. As the entire office will still be attending, I thought I'd just hang out with our 68-year-old VP and drink some gin and tonics I don't have to pay for.
I was anticipating lots of "Helen, why aren't you bowling?" questions on the night, but then people started pulling out for various reasons and suddenly our team was short one person. So yesterday in my cubicle, in front of everybody and very loudly, I was asked: "Helen! WHY won't you bowl?"
Argh.
But, I am getting so much better at just saying "screw it" and telling the truth (thanks in very large part to this whole blogging community). I told them all (including the account manager I have a crush on) that I can't bowl because I have rheumatoid arthritis and it would wreck my hands. J didn't even blink - he just said, "ok, we'll find someone else." R went on and on about how much fun I could still have without bowling and how badly she wanted me to come. I love these guys.
And look how far I've come in one year. My "welcome to the company" last February involved a somewhat elaborately planned surprise bowling outing. I felt terrible that they'd gone to so much trouble, so I bowled, horribly, and cried in the bathroom between games. It was 10 pin! I might as well have spent the afternoon hurling bricks around.
I know I underestimate people. I forget these aren't the kids I went to school with who thought arthritis was hilarious or gross. I'm always going to feel awkward when I'm put on the spot, but I need to give people more credit than I do.
Minus one for my own preconceptions. Plus one for nice people.
(But still, minus a million for bowling.)
6 comments:
It's terrific to hear that your co-workers were so nice about it.
As to bowling, my hands do okay, but it's a bit rough on my wrists and shoulders :)
The very thought of trying to hold and throw a bowling ball makes me shudder, Helen. For those without RA, it can be a fun game, but it sure isn't when it hurts like that. Bravo for you for just telling them why you can't -- now they'll not be thinking you're just being wussy. And it IS nice that most adults, if they have brains, will be understanding. A far cry from childhood, thank goodness.
I'm glad you told them. Not only do they now know why you won't go bowling, they'll be more appreciative of your strength and courage in dealing with the everyday work situation in spite of the (also) everyday pain you endure and cope with. Now, you're a hero, not a party-poop!
Smiling for you...
-Wren
How ironic! Some new people I met through school texted me last night and asked if I wanted to go bowling with them. I just said, "No thanks, but ask me again, because it sounds fun." I didn't tell them the real reason why aka I felt like crap. Funny thing was is later on, I completely realized, I can't bowl with a PICC line hanging out of my arm....that would be a big NO NO...repetitive motion with a heavy object equals a shifting PICC in my heart! So I guess I killed two birds with one stone by saying no!
Wellll.... there were still SO many people trying to get me to bowl, all night! There were too many people there for me to explain to everyone individually (including some I don't know very well who are freelancers or clients), so it did kind of suck that I had to keep refusing to bowl.
At the end, when everyone had stopped, one of our designers did succeed in getting me to bowl once, two-handed, with the lightest ball we could find. :)
Still a fun night, but boy, it's hard to convince people you can't do something when you look healthy.
Thanks for the comments, everyone.
I LOVE bowling. It is fun to cheer each other on, sit and eat bowling alley food and wear disgustingly unattractive shoes. But, it is one thing I do very rarely and the one time I did last year, I bowled granny style so I would kill my fingers or shoulder.
I am glad you had fun!
So glad you're more able to tell people now - school must have been SO hard. I had a tough enough time without RA at school!
I did a bit of 10-pin at uni but I was soooo bad at it (straight in the gutter).
Glad you had a good time after all that, in spite of the frustrations!
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