My massage therapist and me, that is.
Oh, she hurts me. Which is unfortunate, because she works out of the building I live in, so all I have to do for a massage is stick some slippers on and wander downstairs. No shoes, no coat, no car. It's lovely.
Until she touches me.
I've taken to telling her, every single time I go in and even if I'm feeling really good, that I'm in a major flare and experiencing severe pain, so please, please be gentle.
"Okay," she'll say. "I'll go really easy today."
Then I lay down and she basically beats me to a pulp. She digs her fingertips into places I didn't even know it was possible to feel pain; she pokes at my defibrillator (OW, and, WHY?) until once, I actually yelped (and yes, I've told her not to). It's so painful I hold my breath through most of the massage; hardly the most relaxing way to spend an hour. It would be different if I felt better afterwards, but I just feel beat up.
I've heard nothing but good things about this woman. I have friends who swear by her and won't see anyone else. And I've tried talking to her about it, but she truly does think her way is best. I get the feeling she doesn't quite believe I have RA; that she thinks all I need is toughening up.
So I'm leaving her and going back to the massage therapist I used to see when I was a student. This woman calms me down instantly, which is a feat in itself because I tend to be a little hyper. She understands arthritis, she knows where I hurt and never does anything without asking first. She also knows the whole defibrillator story, and she knows how it's healed, where it hurts and where I'm not as strong as I should be.
Basically, I'm giving up. Massage Therapist A doesn't get rheumatoid arthritis (or the fact that you shouldn't poke at people's submuscular devices) and I don't suppose she ever will.
Have you been in a similar situation? Did you keep trying to explain, or just decide not to bother?
4 comments:
Don't even try to explain. You don't owe them one.
I think practitioners of any sort have to click with who we are and what we want. With my rheumatologist, I tried explaining but he didn't get it and I was left feeling low. With my naturopath we clicked immediately and I felt empowered by her but she didn't work for some of my friends. I once went to a chiropractor that all my friends loved and she just wasn't for me. I didn't even explain it to her. I just think we are meant to click with some people and not others.
I've never had a full-body massage, and a professional neck-and-shoulders massage only once. That felt great, but I'll be honest here. The very idea of someone rubbing and poking fingers into areas that are flared up and painful with RA makes me shudder. I don't blame you a bit for "breaking up" with this massage therapist. She obviously doesn't understand what RA is or the sort of serious agony it can cause. Nor does she understand your heart condition and the implanted difibrillator. Sheesh. Move on, Helen. Go to the one who has compassion and gentleness already built in.
And tell me -- does massage, done right, HELP your RA? Just curious.
-Wren
PS: The code today was "firen." One has to chuckle. ;o)
Ha, Wren, that's too funny!
And yes, I really do find that it helps my RA, although she doesn't really focus on joints. I actually started going because, sitting at a desk all day, I tense my neck and shoulders and end up with major headaches. She doesn't touch joints that are flaring intensely, of course, but a gentle massage does help to loosen my muscles which in turn, I think, does help my RA.
I also go because, as I said in the post, I'm pretty hyper by nature and calming down helps me feel better in general. :)
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