Another long gap between posts.
The first half of the gap was spent studying and writing, not sleeping, not eating very much, not exercising at all, and having the occasional (ok, frequent) panic attack. The second half was, I am pleased to say, spent reading books of my own choosing, eating good food, seeing friends and family, snuggling pets (including a recently rescued cat named Lewis), painting and taking long walks. Somehow the Christmas break always arrives in the nick of time.
I hope you've all had peaceful and joyful holidays. My goal for the new year is to scale back my use of technology. Or at least, to try only to use technology for a purpose, rather than wasting hours aimlessly clicking from video to video and checking a thousand different news sources every day, and playing solitaire on my phone in bed at night. This is something I've been thinking about for a long time, and I want make the effort now to make that change.
I have no goals for my arthritis. As before, it limbos between pretty good and not very good at all, and I'm coming to accept that. My hand has enjoyed the rest from frantic typing and note-taking, but my feet have begun to crack when I walk and I don't seem able to go barefoot without feeling like I'm walking on marbles (which has, unfortunately, scuppered the dream of becoming a world-famous ballerina which began to take root after I saw the Nutcracker for the first time two weeks ago). It isn't so much painful as unpleasant and, well, icky. But I see my rheumatologist next week and am hoping some new orthotics might help.
On Christmas Eve I went to a job interview a couple of hours from where I was staying at my parents' place. It's a firm of eight lawyers in a small, but not tiny, town (in fact, the town where I was born), to whom I'd been introduced by a former professor. I woke up at 5:30 and watched the sun rise slowly as I made my way along country roads. I met them, I liked them (very much), and on the way back afterwards I stopped to to buy a cup of tea and check my email. There on my phone was an offer.
When I'm anxious or burnt out I try to remind myself that the things I need and hope for often come when I least expect them, even though sometimes that's hard to believe. But now I'm returning to school on Monday with a new sense of motivation, purpose and confidence, and a huge weight off my shoulders.
Wishing all of you a beautiful new year.
(Winter Fox woodcut by Mark Hearld)